Hey you! Welcome back!
Today’s article will be covering rapport and the importance of it.
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What is rapport?
Think of rapport as relationships. How you get along with others. It’s where the phrase “hitting it off with someone”.
When meeting someone new, I tend to be a bit shy and guarded.
This is NOT good when trying to build rapport.
However, if you find yourself in the above situation, fret not!
Learn how to build rapport. It’s a process. It takes time.
But you must try!
Throughout my life, I have developed some tips and tricks on how to build rapport and build my relationships with other.
So, ready to get started? Read on!
Questions, questions, questions:
Building rapport is finding connections.
Ask yourself:
How do you relate to the person you’re speaking to?
What do you have in common?
What is a certain characteristic you share.
Or hey, opposites do attract.
I think of this process as lighting a match. Normally, it takes me about 6 or 7 times of flicking the match before it sparks and creates a flame.
If I’m ever conversing with someone, I ask them A LOT about themselves. For example, I ask about their goals, hobbies, or where they are right now in their lives.
If they have a job, I ask about what they do and how they like it.
I also make sure to ask a bit more detailed questions on their job. How is a typical day like? What does one have to do to get there?
Sometimes, I like to throw in a wacky or random question. What are your top three favorite movies that if you can’t ever see any other movies, you would be satisfied watching the same three. Or what’s their favorite clothing brand. It may set them off guard for a bit, but people normally love to talk about themselves haha.
Get Comfortable!
People can normally tell when the person they’re talking to is feeling intimidated. It’s all about how they project themselves from how they are feeling on the inside. No shame in feeling nervous, we have ALL been their before.
It’s important to tell yourself that you are perfectly fine; the world will not end if you slip up or say something awkward. I promise.
I know, I know, easier said than done.
This normally takes some practice. It doesn’t usually happen overnight and that’s okay.
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Here are some quick ways to fix convo jitters:
+ take a deep breath before you head into the small talk battlefield
+ feel no shame in taking a break and heading to the restroom to recollect yourself and gather up your confidence
+ understand that a majority of the time, the person you are talking to is JUST AS nervous as you are, heck maybe even more.
+ not that the only person judging and overanalyzing you is yourself most of the time. (we truly can be our worst enemies sometimes)
+ do your absolute best to overcome self conscious thoughts. I struggle with this A LOT. Anyone else?
*Try ignoring them and pushing them to back of your head
*Understand that it’s all in your head.
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Now, back to Getting Comfortable.
Lay back, keep your head up, and smile.
And by smile, I mean a genuine smile!
No creepy and insistent smile.
That may cause more harm than good.
Don’t forget to laugh! Laughter shows authenticity and confidence! Remember to be yourself, no need to hide it!
Be present, interested, and kind!
No one, and I mean no one, wants to talk to someone who CLEARLY doesn’t want to be there. It’s an hurtful insult. It pretty much means that the person would rather be talking to ANYONE ELSE, as long as it’s not you. Harsh, eh?
Well, keep in mind, that sometimes, we may put off that feeling to others. I mean, there have been countless times where I was really shy that it seemed indifferent and off-putting.
This can be an issue with rapport. For example, the person I am speaking to may be hurt and not want to spend time with me anymore.
Nothing was wrong with any of us, we just misunderstood each other.
In order to fix this, remember, smiles are key!
Ask follow up questions.
Oh, they like reading Stephen King? (Random, I know)
Ask if they’ve seen The Children of the Corn or Carrie.
It may be tempting to just shrug it off and go “Oh, that’s nice”
It may come off as unconcerned, right?
Think, “Yes, and?”
I know it’s not the same thing, but hey, it’s along the lines of that!
Personally, when someone fails to add on to what I said and sort of drops the conversation there, it makes me feel insecure and boring.
I tell myself that sometimes, people are just like that. It’s alright!
However, I know from those experiences, the importance of being present, interested, and kind. It does a big difference!
Let me tell you a story, I remember talking to this guy once and I asked him a question. It was class and we were bored out of our minds.
He initially had his earphones in, but when I talked to him, he took them off.
Okay, I know this may seem silly, but it made me aware that he was present, interested, and willing to talk. It also made him look very kind and considerate. It felt great!
He could have easily kept his earphones, shook his head, and continues to listen to his music.
Small thing like that make a difference!
Don’t Have an Agenda
I don’t know why some people are like this, but hey, the world isn’t perfect
Nothing bothers me more than when someone engages in a conversation with you and all is going well, until they ask a HUGE favor, leading to question, where they sincere?
For example, someone you never really talk to you comes up to you one day, and you have a wonderful conversation. All of a sudden, they ask you if you could cover a shift for them, or give them the answers to the homework. It’s a sucky feeling.
Don’t be that person. Be genuine. Don’t use others for your benefit. What goes around comes around. You don’t want to be that other person one day.
If you need a favor, greet them, check how they’re feeling, and ask. Simple.
You don’t need to manipulate them into doing something for you.
Most people aren’t like this, but there are some people like that.
And they may not be aware of it sometimes. It’s never to late to work on it though!
You want the person you’re talking to to feel appreciated, not convenient.
BE POSITIVE!
This one is dual purpose! It helps your rapport with others and your own life!
Look on the bright side!
Be optimistic!
Share that!
You’ll put off a great vibe that will stick to the other person! And they’ll remember you for that!
Tell funny jokes, give a compliment, share a funny story.
Positivity can be a rarity is some people’s lives. A little dose of some great energy could definitely change someone’s day, or even week!
This tactic helps you become happier and a stronger person! Training your brain to be optimistic is a terrific strategy to take on life and daily hassles!
What do you think?
Now that we have a better idea on how to build rapport, ask youself:
1. What do I excel in?
2. What do I need the most work on?
3. How can I implement these strategies into my daily life?
4. What am I going to work on today?
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Hope you guys loved and learned from this article!
Leave a comment on what you want to work on and how you will do it! It means a lot!
Special thanks to Brooke Cagle for the beautiful shot!
Don’t forget to Carpe Diem!
~ sara 🙂
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